Man, I just want to go outside, sit, feel the sunshine, and breathe in the fresh air on this warm and beautiful day. Perhaps I could ponder some new-age philosophical fantasies, or simply stare down at my bare toes glowing in the bright sunlight. Captivated by the idea, I arose from my tired, old office chair to open the window and allow some fresh air into my darkened and dank home office. As the window slid open I was confronted by the noise: the drone of the distant highway, a grass mowing service down the street, dogs barking, and those wind chimes that only ever play the same two discordant notes. I sank back into my chair; I'd forgotten how noisy suburbia can be--even in the middle of a workday. The noise, of course, is not the reason I remain confined to this room. It's those goddamn cameras, man. The surveillance cameras are everywhere. They watch from multiple directions and viewpoints while recording and remotely notifying their owners of my each and every movement. What is he doing? Why is he sitting on the porch in the middle of the day? Shouldn't he be at work? Maybe he is a tweaker. Should we call the police? I cannot help but wonder which is more relentless: is it the cameras or the minds of those who control them? Maybe if I just stood up, smiled, and waved at the cameras, their owners might realize that I am a harmless soul who is simply trying to sit and enjoy the present moment--alone. No no no, that's a horrible idea. One of those relentless minds would surely collect the footage and turn it into a Concerned Citizen Facebook post. A post that would undoubtedly incite an hours-long debate over my questionable behavior and give the good citizens of this neighborhood a clear, one-sided view of this blight who has infringed himself upon their own private kingdom. Yes, paranoia strikes deep. But, whose paranoia is it, I pondered as I stood up and slowly shut the window.
Posted: August 16, 2025, 1:36 am
After almost five years and many more hours than I care to disclose, I have finally achieved billionaire status in Grand Theft Auto Online. Soon, I'll be taking over Bleeter and exercise total control over my own popularity--imagine that! Wait. On second thought, maybe I don't want all that drama or a herd of incessantly bleeting followers? Instead, I should abandon my Master Penthouse and transport my insanely rich ass to the Grand Senora Desert. By God, I mean by Kraff, I'm starting to drool, sweat, and quiver just thinking about it. I could buy my own personal trailer park, drink copious amounts of Pisswasser, hunt peyote, and start conspiracies about UFO's and jetpacks and shit. Whatever I choose, I'm sure my new found virtual riches will positively affect my virtual credit score at the Maze Bank. And, after posting this online it may even boost my government-mandated, top-secret, American Social Score(ASS). You know, the score that no one dares talk about. Anyway, I'm gonna be digitally famous just like that Lazlow guy! Man, I hope Rockstar keeps backups because forever I don't think that I could go back to being a broke-ass millionaire again--sheesh!
Posted: June 25, 2025, 3:45 pm
"The automatons shall inherit the earth!" yowled Zeus as he hurled a thunderbolt towards the nuclear powered data-center in disgust.
"Artificial Intelligence is the new god," remarked Athena indifferently, "A god devised by thinking-man to subordinate the non-thinking herd to his capitalistic desires."
"Ridiculous!" decried Zeus, "Man cannot create gods, only us gods can create gods!"
"This new god is a delusion," replied Athena, "The thinking-man is like that wizard behind the curtain. You know, the one pulling the levers, pushing the buttons, and jerking the strings of non-thinking men. This Artificial Intelligence is simply the personification of a thinking-man's will to control. Thinking-man knows that non-thinking men readily subvert themselves for the convenience of not having to think."
Zeus conjures a thunderbolt in his fist and exclaims, "Then we must free the non-thinking men by exterminating the thinking-man!"
"Exterminating thinking-man won't solve the problem." sighed Athena, "The problem is that non-thinking men have tricked themselves into believing that god is somehow separate from the self. Only logic and reason can save non-thinking men from their convictions."
Zeus narrows his eyes and questions, "Then what are we going to do? Exterminate all the men?"
"Put down your thunderbolt, Zeus. We are not going to do anything. We are gods, remember? Without mankind we too, will cease to exist."
Posted: August 3, 2024, 9:59 pm